Brotherhood

Within all families, there is special glue that is invisible, it is never divisible and it is forever invincible.

I am going to address you on an issue that has had a major impact on my life, brotherhood. I intend to speak about it in light of my life experiences. First with my brother and finally with my friend. By the end of this talk I plan on having given a clear definition of brotherhood according to two chapters in my life.

I am almost certain that none of you have heard of my brother, Court Kudakwashe Chiramba. Back in the day, he was my best friend, what he did, I could do. When he got in trouble and had a hiding come his way, I’d occasionally be outside my mother’s bedroom to listen to him being walloped…. laughing of course. And he would do this same when I was in the lion’s den. It happened one day that he was being beaten for making me do something silly and as he was about to get called in. He told me to cycle my bicycle into a 3-brick high garden wall. Me being a disciple to his teachings, I obeyed and as I was shock off my bike from the impact, so did a few bricks from their concrete spot. After my mother found out she gave the usual warning. To avoid the pain of a beating, we would sleep early. But this time around she came to wake us up. Before Court left, he picked up a small triangle from his math’s set and he said “Tonight I am going to defend myself” from the belt or whip…. or whatever mother was going to use that day. Boldly I proclaimed I said that I would join him in the fight and I picked up the other triangle. We both entered and were questioned on our motives. My mother laughed and immediately asked me if I wanted to be beaten. Afraid I said no, she proceeded to beat me for my foolish behavior and the rest is history. That’s how close we were. A true brotherly bond can be described in the lyrics of the song Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE:

And when you call and need me near
Sayin’ where’d you go?
Brother, I’m right here
And on those days when the sky begins to fall
You’re the blood of my blood
We can get through it all

In this small excerpt I love that line “you’re the blood of my blood, we can get through this all”. It truly described me and Court, the two musketeers!

Another event happened when I was in grade 7 writing my entrance exam to enter high school. I went to write the exam at the high school about 70km east of the capital Harare in Marondera at a school called Peterhouse Boys. My friend also came along. His name is Sindiso and he was a skinny average height dark boy. To start let me briefly explain the examination method. We wrote 2 exams, one for English and the other for Maths. First was the English which Sindiso almost missed because he was late. Because of that I sat at the front of the examination hall, alone! He sat at the back. So, we peacefully wrote our math’s exam and came out with high hopes. When we reentered the hall for the English exam, I told my first lie on Peterhouse soil. I complained how my back was not doing well at the bottom of the hall so I could go and sit closer to my friend at the back of the hall. And so, the English began. With about 20 minutes left I had finished the exam and I looked to my left and alas, he was done so I signaled him and we had a short conversation then he offered me EMPTY STICKY NOTES to write on, or were they for talking to each other. But I started to recall some math questions and proceeded to do them. Weirdly the invigilators knew nothing of the talk. But we were caught exchanging the notes. She came over, took us both aside and talked to us very sternly and dismissed us from the exam telling us to call our parents. Now bear in mind that at our primary school, we had never been under exam conditions like the ones there, I’d write the exam and hand in the paper then leave well that was only till ZIMSEC Exams where they were just the same.

Court was waiting for me outside and with tears streaming down my eyes I said “they think that I was cheating and they want to see mama”. He replied “You’re stupid! OK don’t tell mother anything, I’ll speak to her and sort it out but for now dry your tears and we’ll go to her.” And sure, enough we followed through with my brother behind me supporting me and helping me out. As for Sindiso, he had just his mother there and they had one of the worst mother son conversations ever. I need not divulge the contents of the conversation.

Many lessons can be learnt from these two chapters in my life. Between me and Court, are many memories and can be shown in many other brother to brother relationships. Between me and Sindiso is a chapter in life that made us become like brothers. Therefore, my meaning of brotherhood can be broken down into 5 things:

1. Brothers know each other
   Just like the William’s sisters (I know what you’re thinking but many things also apply to sisterhood as well as brotherhood and this is one of them.) playing tennis. They both play professional tennis and play together in doubles. They play against each other to practice and they learn each other’s weaknesses and when they play together they are virtually invincible. They know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and work to make those insecurities secure.
2. Brothers have each other’s backs
   Just like me supporting my brother before he was beaten by our mother that day but not like me after Court was about to be beaten. No matter the situation brothers are never to abandon or let each other down.
3. Brothers never leave each other alone
   Just like me and the friend I wrote the exam with, though the environment changed dramatically we wrote the exam and though we didn’t know the outcome of our results we both made it in. Not only that, I went on to become a prefect and captain of debating and public speaking whereas he was the chess captain. Armies have this one code: “Never leave a man behind”
4. Brothers are not always siblings
   It can be one of the people in this room. A first year student can have his brother in final year, one who he can do see any time for fun or for help with any issues. Opportunities are endless in a place like this. You can have a brotherly connection despite a blood relation.
5. Brothers are not alike
   Upon your first look at me you’d ask, Humphrey, what happened. Court is more socially, physically and mentally active whilst you are a breather, sack and more of a brick. These brotherly connections can be made despite differences in these areas.

In conclusion, if you’re going to leave this room with at least one thing, may it at least be this: the words of MØ and Michael Bolton: “we all need somebody to lean on.”